Sometimes anxiety comes at the most unexpected times for what seems like the littlest of things. Can I tell you I still have nightmares that I didn’t graduate college. That I get a phone call and there’s one class that they missed that I still need to take in order to graduate, and yes I have my framed diploma. Yeah, anxiety is just not rational.
I told my friend I had anxiety about going to my son’s first t-ball practice. She was surprised. It amazed me the number of reasons I could give why I was anxious. I’ll get lost and not make it to t-ball practice. What if it’s on a different day and I misread the email? What if I get there and no one else shows ups? What if he hates it? What if all the moms look really cute and I’m the frumpy one? What if my daughter has meltdowns? What if he doesn’t have the right pants, or shoes or shirt?(I know silly, but I didn’t play sports and I’m an only child, so pretty clueless when it comes to sports and my husband was out of town). What if we just don’t fit in? You get the idea.
Did I mention that I was meeting my friend? Uh yeah, all this anxiety and my good friend’s son was playing t-ball too. She’s one of those awesome friends, that just tells it like it is. Ladies, everyone needs a friend like this. Her confidence blows me away, and it’s something to be admired. She rolls with the punches, she doesn’t care what others think (and not in a disrespectful kind of way), you just feel bolder around her, these kinds of friends are priceless. Being tough and strong doesn’t mean doing this life alone. Being tough and strong means having the courage to ask for help, and invite others along. So, I had a friend to meet, someone who I knew well, and still all this anxiety. The good news is when you’re doing something for your kids, well you just have to do it. My anxiety can’t prevent my son from going to t-ball practice, can it? Well honestly, it can but I didn’t want it to. Sometimes you just have to do things you don’t feel like doing. Honestly, after I got there, and saw my son out there, the anxiety passed, we laughed, my daughter had meltdowns, but I wasn’t the only mom with small children, and I forgot snacks at home, but the other moms shared with me. We all desire to appear as though we have ourselves put together, and our “on top of it.” When in reality we’re all doing our best and some days are just harder than others.
You know that friend I confided in about my anxiety for my son’s first t-ball practice? She shared with me something that brought her anxiety, and you know, it just made me feel better. Not because I desired for her to go through that, but to be reminded that I wasn’t the only one that experienced anxiety, in the everyday, in the little things.
#hopeandlaughter #ididitanyway #anxietymindswantstoknow #iamnottheonlyone